Friday, May 4, 2012

Fatherless Friday: Fatherless For 15 years

This is my first Fatherless Friday Post. I am super excited that I am on schedule. . .. yay me! I will get the hang of this someday! There is hope for me yet!
Over seven years ago I traveled to Kenya to spend 3 months working at an HIV Orphanage. I fell head over heels in love with 96 children. I was completely blown away by my capacity to love and by the love I received in return. I still love these children with everything that I have, but I am going to write about one extremely special boy in my life. His name is Lazarus and he is larger than life. He changed my life. For the better.

He has lived at Nyumbani (the orphanage in Kenya) all his life. Despite his diagnosis and his situation, nothing keeps him down. He is unstoppable, unflappable and so faithful to God. He is quite possibly the most inspirational person I have every met. I struggled for 7 years to make him my son. This was not meant to be. I mourn this every day. I know he is well cared for and happy. . .. it is my own selfishness that I hold on to the desire to make him mine. Adoption from Kenya is nearly impossible. (I have lots of bitterness and anger to vent. . .so I will leave it at that.) I am not sure if they are currently open to foreign adoptions at this juncture. I am still a little too bitter to check into this. . .moving on.

On Sunday April 29th Lazarus was welcomed into his community as a MAN! My little boy is a man. It is a massive coming of age rite in Kenya that starts with circumcision and ends 2 weeks later with a large celebration. Such a big deal!! I couldn't be prouder of him. A slip of paper saying that I am his legal Mom would not change the amount of love and pride I have for this child.

He is pictured cutting the cake with the other Men. . .he is the little guy in front. Oh, my heart just swells for him. 15 years old. Wow!

For 15 years, Lazarus has grown up without a Father of his own, and yet he has grown and has become a man. I know that given the chance, I would jump at the opportunity to bring him home. Fifteen is  not too old for him to acclimate to a family. Not too old for him to blossom and grow and excel. Not to old for me to squeeze and cuddle him every day. NOT TOO OLD!

There are a number of boys listed on Reece's Rainbow that have also spent 15 years without a Father. I am pretty sure they have not had the benefit of an AWESOME orphanage like Lazarus has. Nevertheless, look at these boys. They are precious indeed and waiting ever so patiently for their family. Don't make them wait any longer!! Fifteen years is plenty long to wait! Fifteen is not too old for them to be smothered with love, cuddled and nurtured.


Boy, Born January 26, 1998  
Guardian Angel
 Emmitt is a sweet boy.  He is living in one of the mental institutions, and has been for many years, yet he remains sweet, intelligent, and kind.  Two of our adopting families met him while they were there, and are pleading for a family to save him.     From his medical records:  myelomeningocele  (spina bifida)   From one of our adoptive families:  " Emmitt has a severe deformity of his legs.  He cannot walk at all.  He is very friendly, funny, and talkative. He desperately seeks out attention.  He was talking to my husband, and holding Zack's hand, which he then put on top of his head for Zack to rub his hair.  He is extremely intelligent, and just precious!  I brought him paper and crayons, and he drew me a flower :) "
We are seeking more official medical information about his condition, but hope someone out there will see this sweet young man and know his kind and loving spirit.

$1678.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Donations are tax deductible.

Bartholemew 9HA

Boy, born August 1997
Blue Eyes
Blond hair
The nature of Moody
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Oh, this poor boy.  His lips look so dry.  Our heart breaks for his look of sadness!  Barth is almost 15.  He needs a family fast!  This region allows unrelated children to be adopted.  Please consider him and maybe another child from this region.

Charlie 9HA

Boy, born June 1998
Brown eyes
Hair dark brown
The nature uncommunicative
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Charlie is almost 14!  He looks so small.  Yet, he finds a reason to smile.  Charlie would make a great big brother to some lucky little child.  If you have any concerns about older child adoptions, feel free to ask us here at Reece’s Rainbow.  We have many people that could give you the information you are looking for!

Jared 9HA

Boy, born October 1996
Diagnosis: Down syndrome
Blue Eyes
Nature of fun, not relaxing – he sounds like a busy guy!
Jared will be 16 in October, He needs a family soon or his chances to find a family will be gone. His description says “Nature of fun, not relaxing.” He sounds like a typical 16 year old!!
Families considering our older, institutionalized children should be home study approved prior to commitment.

If you are not in a place to adopt right now, I understand. Please pray. Pray for these boys. ..


  1. Love this, Becki. What precious boys...

    Thanks for explaining more about Lazarus. I have been curious!

    1. Amber, it is a long and convoluted story. Basically, I was to the fostering portion of the adoption finally. I moved out with Lazarus. Found a house to stay in and was getting all settled in with him. Then one morning I was attacked by our Iskari (security guard.) Every house has one in Kenya. .. he thought I was an easy target. He was wrong and I fought like I didnt know I could. I wasnt raped, thank God. The damage was done. Someone laid hands on me to hurt me, when I was alone in a house with Lazarus. Luckily, Lazarus was in his room, he heard the struggle which was traumatic enough for him but he was otherwise uninvolved. Because of the struggle, blood was exchanged. The guard ran off and was never found by the "authorities." With the high incidence of HIV in Kenya, I was put on ARVs and sent on my way. I was committed to Lazarus and I was staying to fulfill the requirements. I lasted one month. I vomitted all day every day on the ARVs. I was so sick. I kept checking with the nurses and they just told me that these were the side effects, now you know how the children feel . .. so I did my best to carry on. After 28 days, I landed in the hospital with Med-induced Hepatitis. I was SICK. I spent 4 days in a Kenyan hospital. NOT FUN. Around the same time, the adoption agency that had told me that I could foster Lazarus for 3 months then return home and then return for the court dates told me that if I left after the 3 months, the judge would deny the adoption application. I had used all of my leave from my job and all of my money. I didnt have any way to fund a stay that typically lasted 14 months. I could not afford to stay in Kenya for 14 months. My job would not be held for me that long either. They looked at me with mock sympathy and told me that my family would give me the money. How irresponsible would it be for a single woman to lose her job in the process of adopting an special needs child?? Seriously? And my family had no money to help. The Social Worker somewhat admitted that she had told me what she thought I wanted to hear, believing that as a rich american, I could just stay indefinitely. I sadly could not.
      So, basically I totally and completely failed Lazarus. It haunts me every. single. day.

  2. Oh my dear... so proud along with you for Lazarus & so sad to hear your story... but know this... he knew you fought for him & trust me - he will never forget what you have done & how much you still do love him - you have shown him that he is worth fighting for & this he will carry with him for the rest of his life... this wonderfully strengthening thought will always support him the rest of his life...