Thursday, May 17, 2012

Maybe

Maybe- one of the most hopeful words I have heard in a long time. Maybe- a word that often gets overlooked; under utilized and misused in this household. A word I didn't realize I was longing to hear until I heard it yesterday.

Prior to yesterday, I really didn't love the word maybe. It was often used to put things off or to dismiss them altogether. It was an easy way to stop a conversation in it's tracks.

Yesterday maybe was said in earnest. With thought, with fear and hand wringing. With wide eyed honesty. My heart rate increased. My mind went into warp speed and I was filled with hope and possibility and trepidation. I nearly cried. Okay, I cried, but just a little bit.

In the past I have been a "yes" woman. I always sang my loudest in church when "Here I am" was played. "I will go Lord. .." But I have gone and I have struggled and I have been tested.

The past few years I have spent far too much time nursing my wounds and slowly crawling back to myself and to faith. Any progress is good progress in my book, and I am coming to terms with the journey that I am on and where that road has led me in the past. I wish I could see the reasons in God's great plan for the things that have occurred, but today I am still reveling in the power and the hope of tomorrow. Dreaming of where life will take us and eager to begin. . .

Blown away by the power of a maybe.

3 comments: