Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I have nothing to blog, writing my autobiography is literally sucking the life out of me. There is so little inspiring about my subject matter right now. I am drowning in facts. . .about me. I understand the purpose and it is totally all worth it, and I am learning in the process, but it is totally killing any creativity I had for  this here little blog.

Sorry folks. It should be any day now that I get to shout about a precious little love bug. . .but until then, I will share some loveliness with you. Perfect for Wordless Wednesday!

Girl, Born October 2009

Little Maggie was born with CP.   She has strabismus as well, but will so greatly benefit from early intervention and a loving family of her own!

This region typically waives the 10 day waiting period for children with special needs.   Please consider one (or more!) of these beautiful angels from orphanage 41.

Marena 15H

She was born in February 2008
Brown eyes
Black hair
The nature of communicative
Marena has a crossed eye (surgery is required) and Cerebral Palsy (surgically corrected and not really noticeable).
Look how beautiful she is!  Marena is simply adorable, very energetic, curious, likes to communicate. She walks, runs, jumps and loves active play.
She has siblings but it has been confirmed that she is available for international adoption alone.

From a family who met her in May 2012:
I was asked by the orphanage administration if there is any possibility to find a family for Marena, as she is scheduled to be transferred very very soon. It will be such a tragedy for a child (she has been living there since her birth)!  I hope that maybe we can find a paper-ready family and she would be saved soon.

Boy, Born January 2005

Harding is a handsome brown eyed, brown haired boy who is HIV+.  He is 6 now and needing a family of his own.

For more info and parent support on adopting and raising a child with HIV, please visit
$71.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Donations are tax deductible.

Gregory 2H

Boy, born August 22, 2005

Gregory’s birthmother’s rights were terminated by court decree. There is no father. Diagnosis: HIV+, functional heart murmur, astigmatism.  They receive excellent medical therapy and have had their innoculations.
Gregory gets embarrassed in front of the camera. He interacts very nicely with the other children. He is a sweet little boy. More photos available.

For more info and parent support on adopting and raising a child with HIV, please visit 

$4733.97 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Pure Priscilla

I have been remiss, another blogger had the fabulous idea of blogging about children, imagining what it would be like for them after adoption. Wonderful idea! Today is Prissy's day. She is in need of medical care immediately. Please share her story!

She timidly prances in from the other room, a blur of pink and yellow. Clad in a fluffy tutu and rainboots she hops on the couch, "I'm ready for Angelina Ballerina, Mama!" I see her with beautiful long hair, scooped up in pigtails on either side of her adorable ears. It seems like not a moment goes by without her grinning or laughing.
I tell her that too much TV is not good for little girls but she simply smiles and says pwease a few more times. She says thank you when I finally relent and turn the TV on, but it sounds more like dhenku. I will take it! She is far too sweet for words!

She doesn't stay on the couch for very long, hopping down to mimic the ballet moves she is seeing on the television. She tires easily though and stops to rest her head on the couch. Smiling the entire time.

Really, I am not kidding about the smile. It is never far from her face, despite all the rough patches, she is a joyful soul. She even puts up with her big brother chasing her around on his Lightening McQueen car. I can't wait until she has the energy to put him in his place as I am sure she will!
She catches me watching her from the kitchen and she invites me to watch with her. When I sit down not a second passes before she is cuddled up on my lap. We giggle and snuggle while watching TV. Enjoying the  quiet little moments.

She tells me that she is too tired to play after the show finishes so pull out a chair in the kitchen where she sits and tells me all about ballet while I make dinner. How she will be a ballerina when she gets older and stronger. The happy chatter is endless. Despite her fatigue she eats like a trooper, and starts to fall asleep before the rest of us are done eating.

I pray that she regains her energy and put her sweetly into bed, kissing each cheek and thanking God for bringing her to our family.


Guardian Angel
Girl, Born February 2010
Pretty Priscilla!  More photos available.   Priscilla has many facial features of FAS.  She is also struggling with "pre-leukemia", also known as congenital Myelodysplastic syndrome.    She really needs to get home!!
From her caregivers:  communicative; adequate reactions.  Character: cheerful, active, friendly, communicative, likes to play with different toys.
More photos available.

$105.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Monday, May 28, 2012


I have had TaterTot Casserole for at least one meal a day for the past 6 days. I am not sure where I end and the casserole begins. I am sick to death of TaterTot Casserole. . .and yet I am waiting for the microwave to ding so I can get my fill of it for yet ANOTHER MEAL.
Ding... . .lunch is ready. Yippee. Ugh

Being right has a downside and today that downside is covered in cheese. .

I am obsessively trying to trim our grocery expenses. . .I have made menus and shopping lists, clipped coupons and resigned myself to hitting every. store. in. town. Just to get the best deals. My husband fully supports this as long as he doesn't have to eat anything he doesn't want to when he doesn't want to. UGH! It really doesn't help that I am a reluctant cook at best. I have a handful of recipes I can successfully execute. (Rice is not something I excel at. Yes, I am THAT bad. .. . in fact the other day I unsuccesfully hard boiled 7 eggs. How can you mess that up?)

Leftovers are a battle. Every time he gets that studious look on his face and says "what do I want for lunch?" I tell him about our fridge full of leftovers. "Super yummy tatertot casserole would make a delicious and filling lunch." No joy.

So what's a gal to do? Lead by example, right? I have been leading for 6 long days now. . .tatertots are haunting my dreams. My husband however, had a nice lunch of pasta today. .. . while I had. . .. .

 Stubbornly trying to make a point. I am totally on the losing side of this. Waste not = waist more.

My husband cannot stop laughing about this. It seems futile. .. I fear this lesson is falling on deaf ears. Wait a minute, my brain is suffering from cheese overload. What's the lesson?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Little Ladies

Well, we are surviving here. . ..the pox have us down, but don't count us out just yet. Thankfully the chicken pox will be here for a finite period of time. How would we deal with this if it appeared there was no end in sight?

What if our reality was one of suffering, despair, neglect and hunger? What if that was all we knew? What if our condition appeared so hopeless and severe people started assuming that we simply would not survive. . and gave up on us?

Two days ago, one of the first faces I ever saw on Reece's Rainbow vanished. No one knew what had happened to Ksenia. The worst was assumed. She had been living in an adult mental institution and was not thriving. It appeared she was barely surviving. We thought that she had been unable to survive the conditions in which she was living. Thankfully, she is still alive and she still deserves a family. .. she desperately needs rescued! We are getting a second chance to advocate for her. ... I for one don't want to let this little girl down. She is available to Canadians only at this time.

This is Ksenia after being sent to the institution. 

Sweet girl before the institution.
Ksenia K.
Date of Birth: February 2003
Gender: Female
Eyes: Gray
Hair: brown
Nature: Calm
Diagnosis: Down syndrome
The transformation of this little angel is horrifying :(
Available to Canadian families only at this time.

Meet Gemma. She has also been transferred to a mental institution at the tender age of 5. Can you imagine your precious children suffering such a fate. What would you do to make sure your children were loved, fed and cared for? Gemma needs to be rescued!! She needs to be tickled into smiling. . she needs to feel loved!

Girl, born in January 2007
Blue Eyes
Hair light brown
The nature of calm
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

I know people are tired of me talking about these children. . .but seriously how can I stop? How would forgetting them help? I would not sleep any easier. . .. what these children are living through is unimaginable. .. .helping is as easy as saying a prayer, clicking share. . .donating $5. It will not solve the problem for every child, but you would be amazed by what you are capable of doing. One person can make all the difference in the world to one of these children! There are 2 billion Christians worldwide, 132 million orphans. If the Church stepped up, each child could be provided for 15 times over. Change is possible. Throwing up our hands achieves nothing. Apathy is death for these sweet babies. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

It's raining, it's pouring. . ..and I am dancing in it!

Life is chaotic today and I LOVE it! My husband finally came down with the chicken pox. Though he is hanging tough right now, I am a little worried. I can only imagine Male chicken pox is even worse than the Man-flu! I am gearing up for a bumpy week!

Our roof is being replaced today. I have some sort of sinus issue, you know the kind where it hurts to move your head at all. . .super fun.  When it rains, it pours.

AND we are beginning to wade through the paperwork and jump through the hoops to adopt our very own Eastern European angel. Oh, I tear up just thinking about it. Adoption is a leap of faith for any family but really, I cannot explain how terrified I am. I cannot think of any negative possibilities right now. I have been left broken hearted and empty handed twice, when I thought my arms and heart would be filled with a lovely child. I am really trusting God to take care of me and this precious child while we work to make him ours. I feel so blessed that God would entrust this angel to us! What an amazing honor!

We cannot disclose the exact child just yet, though I am super eager to share because he is just PERFECT! As soon as I can, you will all be treated to pictures and details!
After months of donating and advocating and praying and crying over these children I finally feel like I am DOING SOMETHING! The hoops and the paperwork. .well it is such a blessing!

I am joining a new family of amazing people that have adopted special needs children. The Reece's Rainbow Family! YAY! I feel so insecure. . .these families, these women that I have come to know and respect, well they are just so much cooler than I am! I feel like the red-headed step child, but I will take that! Anything to be a part of such an amazing community of people!

I am unsure how my blog will be impacted by this process, I am really hitting the ground running, hoping to expedite this process in any way I can. Someone is waiting for us!! I will do my level best to keep updating this with all the awesomeness that the future holds!

I just discovered this video, I don't know how I have missed it all these months, but it is amazing and showcases just how awesome these families and children are, and what a kick ass awesome organization Reece's Rainbow is.

Oh I am so excited and so nervous and SO BUSY! Please keep us in your prayers!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Mum's the word

Ugh, how to blog about what is going on without spilling the beans?? Following the rules is not always easy. So perhaps I should not blog today. . ..

Since I have little else to talk about, I am sharing a post that moved me to tears. That is  my disclaimer. It made me cry. . . .   but is so worth the read.

Sunday, May 20, 2012


After months (or more) of riding the pine, our names have been called. . .we are up to bat. This is an insane move by the "coach." Seriously. There are so many other players that could have been called up. . .so many. People with a far better batting average. People that have been training for this moment. 

My knees are shaking, I fear my grip might even slip on the bat. You see, I have been here before. I trained hard, I put my all into this game for seven years. Only to strike out . .repeatedly.  I took a couple of pitches in the gut, a couple knocked me down. I can only imagine it was painful to watch. It was even more painful to be on the receiving end. After my final strike out, I took an early retirement.

It did not make me hate the game. The game has such value, it makes such an impact, the world is changing due to this game! I was an avid spectator, paying what I can to support those up to bat. .. cheering and yelling as loudly as possible, but my butt never left the bleachers. My heart never stopped dreaming of an epic comeback, but that was so far out of the realm of possibilities, I was never spurred to action. Fear is powerful.

However, fear is not as powerful as hope, or love, or God. Out of practice, out of shape, perhaps out of our minds, we responded to the call and we are up to bat. . .. 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Where the boys are

Not too many years ago I was boy crazy. Too put it lightly. I was the biggest flirt, well maybe second biggest flirt. Looking back, it is a little embarrassing in a harmless sort of way. Where the boys were. . .that's where I wanted to be.

Oh how times have changed. . .going out on a Friday night. Hmm. I can remember doing that, but I cannot fathom where the energy came from. The amount of time spent getting ready prior to departure, another embarrassing admission. My sister and I could spend hours, and I mean hours getting ready for a night out. .. and really it wasn't about makeup or hair. We would literally have fashion shows in our living room. It was part of the process.  The most outlandish outfit almost always won. . .it was all about fun, no uber revealing or inappropriate outfits, all in good fun. We had theme nights as well. . . .hat night, pajama night (I met my husband on pajama night), wacky sunglass night, Friday the 13th goth night, movie quote night where we would try to converse in movie quotes. . .. too many to list.
Okay, yes that is a fishnet shirt. I don't have any idea where I found it or why I wore it. I do remember that it was insanely uncomfortable. .. but this picture always makes me chuckle. On this memorable night, I had a dance off with a very large Samoan bouncer to the "Tootsie Roll." Random. I think it was a tie . . ..really. Maybe he took pity on me and my tortured outfit. I really must clarify that this was taken several years ago. Several. . .eons really, as evidenced by the bangs. Looking goooood.

I do miss the antics of a good night out with my sister and friends. Sheer craziness always ensued when I was lucky enough to go out with my sister.

Again. .. oh, how times have changed. Friday nights now. . .I am still boy crazy but for my boys. My precious boys. I am so proprietary! Boys that don't care if my hair is out of place or if my outfit is fashionable. . (yoga pants are always fashionable. .. right?) Boys that love me just the way I am. (Yes, sweetie, I am talking about you too.  I know you love my yoga pants to pieces, don't bother denying it.) Tucking Eli into his big boy bed tonight, he made my night by saying, "good night my best friend, Mama." I know these moments won't last, but my heart was overwhelmed by the cuteness of my little guy.

My life is infinitely richer due to the love and lessons I have received courtesy of Eli and Husband.

If you are half as boy crazy as I am, then you really must take a look at these adorable boys. . .all are up for grabs. Enrich your life by making one of these yours!! You will never regret it!

Date of Birth: May 2007
Gender: Male
Eyes: Gray
Hair: blond
Nature: Quiet
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Boy, born  December 2007
Eyes: Gray
Hair: brown
Character: calm
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

So happy to have a new pic of Elias! He’s still in pink though!

Boy, born December 2007
He does have siblings
Brown eyes
Nature calm
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Date of birth: November 2009
Gender: Male
Eyes: Blue
Hair: blond
Nature: Quiet
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

More pictures available.

Boy was born in April 2007
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

d2ct, 3G
Boy, Born April 2007
Diagnosis: Down syndrome
Curtis is a darling little boy with brown hair and brown eyes.  He is described as a very smart boy, healthy and strong.  So glad to have a new smiley picture of him!

$2075.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Okay, truth be told, I am still totally boy crazy, and though I miss the crazy fun with my sister, these boys are too cute to turn down. . .. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Marky Mark

Oh sweet Mark. I pray for you and your chubby cheeks every day, several times a day and it does not seem enough. I want to squeeze you, look you in the eye and kiss your super chubby cheeks. I want you to know how much you matter.

This is the picture that captivated me. I had just miscarried my little Beckett and this picture, well it is just how I pictured Beckett looking. I think it was the cheeks. . .I am so obsessed with your squishy cheeks. .. and the wary, "are you kidding me" look in your eyes. Stole my heart. I showed this picture to my husband a million times. To make it easier, I posted this picture on my refrigerator.
I love the pink shirt-so fashion forward. It was a fashion risk Mark, but it works on you.
I love your chubby little fingers and the gentle pat on the back you are giving vanilla bear.
I have stared at this picture for hours. I can hear your laugh, I can see your nose crinkle in amusement.
I can feel how wonderful it would be to hold one of those chubby hands in mine.

I imagine that like me, you delight in watching people fall. Not people getting hurt, just the funny antics people do when they fall.. . .we would share a laugh, once we knew the person was okay. You would be eager to help with everything. . .dishes, laundry, yard work. . .. not because you enjoy those tasks, no one does. .. but because you are dear and want to keep us company (and because I make those chores look SO fun.)

As a baby, you appeared so calm and serene. The kind of baby that falls easily asleep in my arms. So snuggly and sweet. Trusting and accepting. A miraculously easy baby.

This is you now. Growing by leaps and bounds. Almost unrecognizable from the first photo except for that wise and wary look in your eyes. I love it. Funny how your hair appears so red now. You look far more like a bundle of energy in this picture than in the others. I bet if someone took you to a playground, you would be off and running. Eager to see how high you could climb, how fast you can go down the slide. Eagerly running back up the steps to do it all over again.  Throwing sawdust along the way. Your laugh of delight echoing off the play structure.

Mark, I see you as pure joy in the sweetest little package. I pray for you all the time. I hope your Mama finds you SOON!

Mark was born Oct 2009. He has $3200 available to assist with adoption costs. Little Marky Mark has Down Syndrome and was born with some heart issues (Atrial Septal Defects, no impairment of circulation), but surgery hasn't been found necessary yet.
Mark is usually in a good mood. He plays with toys variously, jabbers. He is active.

Mark is available. Waiting. . .waiting and waiting. 


Maybe- one of the most hopeful words I have heard in a long time. Maybe- a word that often gets overlooked; under utilized and misused in this household. A word I didn't realize I was longing to hear until I heard it yesterday.

Prior to yesterday, I really didn't love the word maybe. It was often used to put things off or to dismiss them altogether. It was an easy way to stop a conversation in it's tracks.

Yesterday maybe was said in earnest. With thought, with fear and hand wringing. With wide eyed honesty. My heart rate increased. My mind went into warp speed and I was filled with hope and possibility and trepidation. I nearly cried. Okay, I cried, but just a little bit.

In the past I have been a "yes" woman. I always sang my loudest in church when "Here I am" was played. "I will go Lord. .." But I have gone and I have struggled and I have been tested.

The past few years I have spent far too much time nursing my wounds and slowly crawling back to myself and to faith. Any progress is good progress in my book, and I am coming to terms with the journey that I am on and where that road has led me in the past. I wish I could see the reasons in God's great plan for the things that have occurred, but today I am still reveling in the power and the hope of tomorrow. Dreaming of where life will take us and eager to begin. . .

Blown away by the power of a maybe.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

About Keaton

Keaton, there have been several famous Keatons. . .Diane, Michael, Buster and my favorite, Alex P. . .

The name Keaton means to fly with hawks, which I think is awesome since I am convinced that this Keaton is destined for more than a pink bed. . .just look at the sparkle in his eyes!

keaton-cropped.jpg (626×500)

This is lovely boy will turn 6 this summer. If he has not already been transferred to a mental institution , it is likely that he will soon. This is no life for anyone, let alone a young child. He has been diagnosed with CP, internal congenital hydrocephalus, condition after ventriculoperitoneostomis. HOLY COW! That is a mouthful and I had no idea what that last diagnosis meant, until I looked it up. And I still have no idea, but I am assuming that he was diagnosed with CP after a shunt was placed for his hydrocephalus. 
When I first discovered Reece's Rainbow, I was drawn to the DS, CP and HIV babies immediately. I had no knowledge about hydrocephalus and therefore was just not as keen on babies with this condition. Shame on me! Fear is a fickle beast, eh? I have since done a little research, mostly wiki-research, which honestly confused and overwhelmed me more....and then I remembered that I had a friend that had been treated for this as a child. He is awesome. Totally. He let me feel the shunts on the back of his neck. His life is so active and productive and he is truly an amazing individual. Now, I know that every person and case is different, but the bottom line is this: Keaton is a beautiful boy that deserves a chance. He is a boy, not a diagnosis. He deserves a Mama to hug him, a Papa to tickle him. He is not lying on that pink bed because his needs are too great or too scary. He is there simply because his Mom has not seen his face. . .. yet.

I am putting Keaton's face here in hopes that his Mama and Papa will discover Keaton and all the amazing joy he can bring to their lives. 
I am quoting someone that I can't remember. Man, I hate when people do this, but the quote is just perfect. .. "God doesn't give special needs children to special families,  families are made special by these children." I probably butchered the quote, but the message is the same.  

I see Keaton in a few years, OBSESSED with Dinosaurs. He will know the name of every dinosaur and the time period it lived in. He will know the dietary preferences and evolution of each and every known dinosaur. He will have FAR more knowledge on this subject than his Mom even knew existed. He will spend hours digging in the back yard, at the beach, at his cousin's house, searching for his very own dinosaur bones.

He will love to read and educate his family on all the wonderful things he is assimilating. A little walking encyclopedia. I am sure of this. He will be quick to hug and quicker to laugh. . .an infectious and bubbly laugh.

I can hear it now.

Look at Keaton. Really look at him. He is a gift and will bless someone's family in a million ways!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens . .. .

These are a few of my favorite things:

I LOVE THIS! It is called "How to disappear completely." Lauren Gray is the artist and I believe she is amazing!
I LOVE THIS! It is called "How to disappear completely." Lauren Gray is the artist and I believe she is amazing!  Check her website for more of her work, but this one is my favorite. I would love to have it!

Little Boy Bowtie - Multi-Colored Plaid - Sizes 6M - 9 years
Too cute for words and I know one little boy that would rock this tie !

Interview your kids on video each year.
I must start doing this annually, though I am a little scared what his answers might be. . . .

Tatiana-23-Summer-2011.jpg (671×800)

 The My Family Found Me page on Reece's Rainbow. Being able to see children being saved from a life in mental institutions. It is so amazing! I am hopeful that I will see more of my favorites on this page soon!

il_fullxfull.262421128.jpg (650×650)
My husband would probably have this tattooed on him somewhere if he wasn't deathly afraid of needles and pain and ink and men with tattoos oh and if he thought my kind of crazy was good, and not just crazy. . ..these awesome tshirts available on etsy. 

Heavenly Candlesticks
Nun Candle Stick Holders?  Awesome! These seriously don't go with my decor but I just love them!

Teamwork Tuesday

So, I have two missions this Tuesday. Both are calls for fervent prayer. .. .please consider joining me.

First off, the John Family is in crisis. This lovely family stepped forward to adopt Jack. Lovely, sweet, desperate for a mommy, Jack.
I was overjoyed and filled with hope. Yesterday, Mr John came home to find his young wife unconscious. Can you imagine? The medics were able to restart her heart but she is currently in a coma and in critical condition. The last I heard she was not responding to treatment. Please cover her, her family and Jack in your prayers. Please.

Secondly, the day is dedicated to Kyle.

Kyle 2H

Boy, born November 2006
Eyes: Blue
Hair: brown
Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Kyle is facing the institution.   He has striking blue eyes and bright blonde hair!  Kyle is medically healthy outside of his flat feet and strabismus.   Please give Kyle a chance to grow up in a loving family of his own!

$3903.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

There is SO little information on here about Kyle. Kyle, I wish you knew how many people were talking about you today. Gazing on your sweet, startled looking picture. You are not lost. You are not forgotten. You are so very precious and loved by many and by God. I see your potential and the joy you will bring to a family. 

You are loved and in my prayers dear Kyle!

So, that is all I have today. No insight. No funny quips. I am praying. ..praying. .. praying.