Oh Henry

This is Leila Miller's Post for Henry and his family. She wrote so eloquently that I had to share. I am shattered by this loss, any Mama cannot comprehend the loss that this family is going through. I pray that God soothes their aching hearts and fills their empty arms. Since I cannot seem to see well enough through my tears to do the family and Henry any sort of justice, I am poaching. . .Leila, thank you.
Leila's blog post can be found here.
Carla in her amazing way posted her heartbreaking news here. Carla was instrumental in leading my husband and I on our adoption journey. For this, I will be forever indebted to her and her sweet family. 

Rest in peace, sweet Henry

Oh, baby boy…. How our hearts ache tonight. How we miss you and weep for your family.

Henry, precious one, your life was all about redemption, from beginning to end.

We watched as Carla, your mommy, found you in a picture and fell in love, and as she took that leap of faith and flew across the ocean to claim you from a cold and lonely orphanage without hope, bringing you to a home overflowing with warmth and life and love.

Such a strong boy, a fighter! For over a year, through facebook, blogs, and email, we followed your surgeries, we rejoiced at your recoveries, we celebrated when you turned two with your family, and we couldn't wait to watch you grow bigger and stronger, turning into a young man one day, the whole world at your feet!

And you got through the "big" (but necessary) surgery we'd all been praying about, besting Hurricane Sandy herself, and finally coming home after three long weeks away, but never away from your beloved mother, who never left your side.

We worried last week when you had an unexpected setback, a massive infection in your tiny body, a complication of the surgery. More surgery and lots of hope followed. There were pain-free moments yesterday, and deep, connected gazes of affection between mother and child. Then today, your mommy announced that you crashed, nearly died, and then came back to her and to us. But you crashed a second time and then we heard no word for long, torturous minutes, which turned to an hour, and more. Silence from your mommy was ominous. We all prayed and hoped against hope, but then saw this, from your mommy's friend, posted on her facebook wall:

Friends. At Carla's request I'm telling you all that our friend and brother Henry has gone to be with Jesus, where there is no more pain, where every tear will be wiped away, where he will walk tall and straight forever! Pray for his suffering family.

The grief. Unspeakable sorrow at having lost you, and anguish at the thought of your mommy, and the crucible she must be enduring. Like Mary our heavenly Mother, bearing the crushing weight of the loss of a precious, innocent son. Silent prayers that Mary would carry Carla through….

So many communities praying, crying, comforting each other, worrying about your mommy and your whole family. The Catholic bloggers, the Reece's Rainbow community, facebook friends, your in-real-life community. Helpless and in shock. So many prayers ascending.

As I said at the start, your whole life, little Henry, was about redemption. You had been redeemed from the orphanage by your mother, and in turn you redeemed so many other children who didn't have a chance before Carla introduced us to you and to Reece's Rainbow. You and Carla laid the foundation. You and Carla are the primary reason I am an advocate for orphans today. You and Carla are the reason that Malcolm has found a family and will be leaving the dreary, gray walls of an institution. You and Carla are the reason that Nicholas has a family coming for him, and little Nico as well, and the reason that Paul is home and the reason that Sabrina will be home soon. And so many others. Your mommy, through her love for you, started a domino effect of love and redemption, which is growing exponentially.

Sweet Henry, you have been used by our Lord to be the instrument of redemption for many, and for countless children to come. Yours was a life well lived. And through your baptism and incorporation into the Mystical Body of Christ, you yourself have been redeemed for all eternity.

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Carla had big dreams for her Henry -- that he would be free of pain, and that he would walk and dance and run! That he would be a faithful disciple of Christ Jesus, becoming a pure reflection of our Lord to all who encountered him, and that he would become a great saint, enter into Heaven, and dwell in the House of the Lord forever!

All these dreams of his loving mother have been realized tonight.

Carla, my friend, your work as Henry's mother is now complete -- a perfect success. He is now exactly who he was made to be. Although your work as his mother is done, his work as a powerful and glorious intercessor before the Throne of God has only just begun.

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Rest peacefully, powerfully, blissfully in the glory of the Heart of the Holy Trinity, dear Henry. You are free now, and perfected in the Love that you first learned in the arms of your mother.

Little Saint Henry, now and always, pray for us!



And when this mortal hath put on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? … But thanks be to God, who hath given us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. -- 1 Corinthians 15



These now-priceless photos, taken just weeks ago, courtesy of 5 Boys + 1 Girl = 6 Photography

Overdue

Yes, for all of you that have feared the worst. I DID fall off the face of the planet. Only with the help of medical professionals and OODLES of love and support from friends am I sitting up on the couch right now. Oh, so melodramatic. I am pregnant. Plain and simple. And I suck at it. I am a walking (only when I have to) vomiting (all the time) billboard warning people away from pregnancy later in life. Seriously. . .if you are married. ..have babies when you are in your 20s. ...
So, those of you following our adoption journey. I totally left you in the dark, I am so sorry. Here is the scoop. We lost Pasha to a domestic adoption a few weeks before we were to leave to get him. We struggled with the decision to continue. . .especially when we discovered I was pregnant. We traveled to Eastern Europe with a Plan A, Plan B and a Plan C.... Plan A had Gavin's heart. A lovely little girl with a condition that made me a little nervous. I said we would adopt her if she could speak. We were told that she did not speak and that her condition was FAR more severe than we would be prepared for. With heartbreak and tears we moved on to plan B, acutely feeling our failure of this little girl. No luck. Plan C. .. a little boy that I thought was too cute for words. What do you know, I didn't amend the home study correctly. SO, my own limitations and oversight blew all of our "plans" out of the water. I felt so low and like the biggest failure ever. My son, my husband and I sitting in our DAP appointment completely lost. I was ready to admit defeat and come home. Then they pulled a file for a little boy. I immediately dismissed him. .. judged a book by it's cover photo. He was the ONLY child that met our requirements and I was simply ready to dismiss him. God bless Serge. He took us across the street, talked me down a little bit and got us a new picture of the boy. We agreed to go and meet this child though I was sure it would still never work, too busy beating  myself up for my failures to look to the future.


We met this little boy and it was love. Immediately. God pulled a miracle out of the MESS that I had made. . .We have proudly welcomed Evan into our family. He is officially ours and he will likely lament this day in the future, wishing he would have been adopted by Angelina Jolie instead. ..or Martha Stewart, but he got US! And we love him to bits already.
That little boy that our home study did not fit? He was adopted by the family that had their DAP appointment right after ours. Again, GOD is SO GOOD! Now we need to find a home for PLAN A!

My husband is overseas right now wrapping up the paperwork needed to bring Evan home. God bless my husband for stepping up to finish this process when my Belly Bean decided to render me useless.

Here is his moving post from Gotcha day:

Ok, so as I lie here (on the cold hard floor thanks to our apartment only having a couch) listening to the little snores of Evan, I can reflect on what has truly been a bizarre rollercoaster of a day. It started with a scenic tour of Donetsk followed by some other neighbouring town as we tried to locate the bank that held Evan's bank account. Eventually we found it and I was handed 12k hyrvnia, thanks very much. We then headed to the orphanage to pick the little fella up once and for all. We turned up, gave "Direktor" the hyrvnia and them he took us to an office to finalize the paperwork before jokingly insisting we wait for Evan to have his lunch there as i was probably going to feed him crisps and beer. Who knew he had such a sense of humour and in fairness he was half right haha. 

I was expecting his groupa to put on a big send off for him with his caregivers getting emotional, probably me getting emotional but no, I sat and waited in the play area and eventually he toddled out with a caregiver I'd never met before. He let out his trademark "hooooooor" (it's like a big intake of air when he gets excited) and ran over and have me a big hug. He then thought it was play time (like every other visit in that room) and jumped in one of the cars. I scooped him up and we left, no big fare wells, no nothing. He quieted down in the car and watched the town go by as we headed to the apartment but once there he quickly discovered the toys Becki had lovingly packed and he turned the TV off and on and off and on for about an hour until it was nap time. 

Using the trusty Russian phrase page I have I told him it was bed time and made up a bed on the couch, this triggered a melt down of heart breaking proportions. I think it was the point where the penny dropped for him because he ran to the front door wailing something in Russian over and over again. I scooped him up and cuddled him, I let him be for a bit, I tried the TV again, more cuddles, the iPad, music, more cuddles, nothing worked. It became so frustrating that I could do nothing for this little ball of wailing, tears, dribble and snot. After about an hour of this he did start to turn the TV off and on again although still whimpering this same Russian phrase over and over. After about another 30 minutes he had stopped. 10 minutes later we were dancing and playing hide and seek.

 I took him for a walk in the drizzle, picked up some cookies and crisps (see "Direktor" was right) at the store and brought him back again, half expecting our return to trigger the tears again. He strolled in, shut the door and began to play again. Dinner and bath time went uneventfully but when it came time for bed he teared up again but he went to sleep, keeping one eye on me, so "hopefully" he may be coming to terms with being stuck with me. Should be wrapping up things here tomorrow and then a night train to Kiev, I'm hoping that will be an enjoyable adventure for him and less of a reminder of him not being with his little friends, in familiar surroundings. Humbling, anticlimactic, frustrating, sad, not really what I was expecting from today but there were some smiles and some laughter too so it's not all been bad. Let's see what tomorrow brings and hopefully I get some sleep on the cozy, comfortable floor.

Evan in his american clothing. Dont know the lady. .. but that is our son. Precious, right?

I married such a wonderful man. God bless him and our son on this journey home.