Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Oh my God

I am not taking HIS name in vain, I assure you. Adoption is not for the faint of heart. The unknowns are many; the paperwork is vast. You must find some perverse pleasure in jumping through hoops. Or maybe all you really need is love. And faith. Faith is truly helpful.

Not only are you opening your heart and home to a child for the rest of your life, you are opening your life to the public. .. opening yourself up for scrutiny. Hoping that people will join you on the journey, to pray and support you. For the most part, this has been the case. People, you have been AWESOME! There are however, people lurking in the shadows and that live to tear down. Sad.

Pasha.. . I KNOW you are worth all of it and more. Every child needs someone to stand up for them. Every. Single. Child.

Receiving rude, demeaning, ill founded messages from people that hide in their anonymity. ..it is this generations version of bullying. Sticks and stones. Sticks and Stones. When I was growing up, if you were going to be awful to someone, you had to own up to it. . man up and do it face to face. This version, well it is just sad. It saddens me and it prompts me pray for those poor souls that feel the need to be mean and then to hide. The internet makes it so  much easier for sad and angry people to lash out. A side effect of the ease, convenience and accessibility that the internet provides, I guess.
Someone recently claimed that bad things WOULD happen BECAUSE God is good. Hmmm.
The God that I know is kind and loving. For Pete's sake HE sent his ONLY SON for me to suffer unspeakable pain. Little old me. That alone tells me that GOD is here. With me. Loving me. Regardless of my failings and my insecurities. Even when someone tells me that HE doesn't love me. I know. My God loves me.

What must life be like for someone that believes that God is capable of orchestrating hurtful and painful scenarios. .. not for any good. The world must be very scary, empty and unsettling. I am again asking for prayers. Please continue to keep my family and Pasha in your prayers, but please include a plea for people that are hurting and are trying to spread that hurt around. God can heal.

Oh, my God. HE is good ALL THE TIME. He wants all things that are good for us. I will not be afraid. I will not dwell on the unknowns, I will trust in God because HE IS SO GOOD! I will not hide. I will not retaliate. I will stand strong. Because God allows me to.

My name is Becki and I endorse this message.


  1. Becki, there are people who want to bring others down with them as they go. Misery loves company...remember that! When you are holding Pasha in your arms...you'll see that all of this was worth it!

    1. Sylvia. ..I know, but my Papa always taught me to stand up for myself, so it is really hard not to get angry. God is really giving me peace about it. I will not stoop . . ..God is doing so much good in my life right now! haha Thank you!

  2. You are so beautiful!! I love this. Well said. <3

  3. Amen! You said it!! Behind you all the way...