Tough Love and Fear

Man, I needed a gold star, a pat on the back, a "job well done" last night. Sigh. Who knew that when the phrase "Tough Love" was created they were talking about how tough it was on the parents. My two year old got to me last night. I made a threat. One not thought out. Call the authorities!! 

What a day. I am done making excuses. "He's tired." "He is not feeling well." "It's a new experience." "He's only two." Well I am done. Starting last night. I stuck to my guns last night and I refuse to let that be for nothing. 

I sent my 2.5 year old to bed last night at 6 pm. His normal bedtime is at 8. He did not get his bath. He did not get to read a book. He loves his routine and I deprived him of it.  I was really worried that meant hell night for me. . . .what with his pox and all. But I stuck with it. Consequences for both of us. He refused to stop throwing couscous on the floor. I made an idle threat. Shame shame. (Have any of you tried to clean up couscous from a floor? Those sticky little balls are my nemesis.)

I was shocked by how difficult this was for me. I thought that I would sail through this phase of parenting because I am totally good at being the bad guy. I am persistent and determined. . ..boy was I wrong! Being a parent makes me retrospective and totally apologetic to my parents. I never realized that when they punished me, they were making their lives harder in the process. So eye opening!

I stayed up far too late worrying about how badly the night was going to suck and what God awful hour Eli was going to wake up at. Really constructive and intelligent. I know. Perhaps my husband is correct to question my "genius." On the flip side, I read this. And laughed til I cried. (I have hopes that people share my blogs as much as I share others. .. . I have this crazy idea that my ramblings can help or at least brighten someone's day. If I cannot be useful, I do try to be entertaining.)

I finally went to bed. I dreamed that I was pregnant. Though my dream didn't last 9 months, it was one of those really long life like and accurately mundane dreams. I was super excited until I delivered a dead baby. 

After all of my strong words about fear yesterday.. . .I am still afraid. 

Frustrated? Maybe a little. . .

I have no one to blame but myself. .. and Eli Manning.
Yes, I was on vacation last week. Did I mention it was free?? Best kind of vacation is a free vacation!

On the way to the airport I outlined my plan for the Parish Adoption Mission. I had a dream about it the night before (all my best ideas come from dreams. . .) Lucky for me, I remember most of my dreams with amazing clarity. Unlucky for me, this memory does not last long. I decided the best way to retain this information was to share it with my darling hubby.  I told him ALL about it. . .likely in nauseating detail. Over and over, during the hour drive to the airport. Hubby gave me all the right affirmations and asked all the right questions. Yay! He was listening AND he agreed that I was a genius. (okay, he will probably never agree that I am a genius, but I know deep down that he thinks it.)

We arrived home yesterday. Today was the dreaded day after the vacation day. . ..it is so cold here I had to wear layers in the house. I could not warm up. . .it is hard to do the laundry and the cleaning and basically anything at all when bundled up for the snowstorm that feels imminent. . .so that the day was not completely unproductive,  I asked my dear hubby to recount some of my brilliant adoption mission ideas. . .

Silence from hubby. Uh, dear. ..  .did you hear me? More silence.

A little more silence. I looked up at him from the couch to see him sheepishly say, "uh, I remember you telling me about the dream you had that you were dating Eli Manning. . ."

Yes. I had a dream that I was dating Eli Manning. .. and I was trying to explain that his name was a deal breaker for me. .. he needed to come up with a different name. Quickly.  Preferably one that was not the same as my son's. This whole dream was awesome and strange. .. .as Mr Manning is so not my type (in fact it wasn't Eli Manning in my dream, it was this guy:)
  . .. but I got to trade jokes with his super fun brother. .. He totally supported finding a new name for his brother and contributed some genius suggestions.

even this picture makes me giggle. Peyton you are too funny!

So, I guess that made up the lack of attraction?  Yes, I ended up hanging out with the Kardashians in this same dream. Kim was getting married in a bouncy castle. . .oh wait, did that really happen? Thankfully I woke up before things got even weirder. Despite the Kardashians I woke up with a smile.

THIS my dear hubby remembers. . . .and bubkiss about the Church Mission. Lucky for me, I have remembered the finer points of my Church Mission dream and have learned that perhaps the best mode of retention is to write it down. . ..lesson learned.