There are so many aspects of my life right now that are out of my control, the least I could do was filter. . for the kind folks that read my blog. Control *giggle* what a misnomer, eh? The illusion of control is a good frenemy to me, despite the fact that it is indeed an illusion. I am a fair weather friend to control. I only want the illusion of control in some instances, mostly when I want to control others... .Yes, I am that lovely.
I do not want control over myself. NOPE. For example, I claim NO control over my weight. Nope. . .it cannot possibly be my addiction to donuts and ice cream. . .those pesky 15 are simply out of my control. . .I swear!
The sad state of my hair. .. also outside my realm of control. It literally boggles the mind. . .that I finally got my hair cut and it looks like THIS... hmmm....I would be better off with a flo-be.
Instead, I like to believe that I have control over my 2.5 year old. .. even when faced with the truth that I have NO control over when it is that he decides to loudly MOAN in the middle of Mass. I also have no control over the fact that my dear husband decides to respond to this moan with some sort of pro-wrestling move meant to restrain said 2.5 year moaner .. .but instead turned that moan into an ear piercing scream. That. That I believe I should have some sort of control over. . ..
I don't, but I CAN pluck my hair out by the handful. Because THAT helps! (it helps just as much as over the top wrestling move in the middle of Mass...just saying because had you been in church with us yesterday you would have witnessed both awesome responses..Kara doesn't that MAKE you want to move here?) Side note- 2.5 year old and Momma went to time out in the lobby for the rest of Mass.. .kneeling on cold lino is my penance....
I sat down thinking I could control my mind and fingers enough to complete a post this morning, but my child is choosing to ask what is on every spoonful of cereal prior to placing the spoon into his mouth. A super fun game for all involved.
I believe that God is up there answering prayers and watching over his beloved people. . .just waiting for us to turn to Him and ask for a hand. . ..but most of us (like me) instead choose to fret about our inability to turn water into wine.. .and resign ourselves to the sad truth that if there is to be wine, it must be purchased...I wonder if God is up there rolling his eyes at me.
So why is it that I cling so tightly to this illusion that I can control the totally uncontrollable thing? Ie, my child, my husband, this adoption. . ..the driving habits of the person in front of me. It is a lesson in frustration and yet I persist.. ..
Just pondering my pigheadedness makes me crave a donut. .. . and a larger pair of yoga pants.
I relent. We should be submitted on Thursday and then if all goes well (begging God for this to be the case) we should receive travel dates in 5-6 weeks.. ..
In the meantime.. . if you want updates, these can be purchased from me ..haha. Totally kidding..but please DO share our giveaway and keep us in your prayers!