Monday, Monday. ...

Two cups of coffee and I still need assistance keeping my eyelids open. They refuse to budge, constantly at half-mast. Are they in mourning? Wishing that today was still part of the wonderful weekend? Wonderful, wonderful weekend. I should be celebrated more often. Really, I should!

Popping my laptop open this morning, I discovered that my most religious follower is an evil spambot. That's a tad disappointing. Being uber naive, I thought people. ...real flesh and blood people were reading my blog. ..and quite a few of them. Pride. .. no good ever comes from my being prideful. I am so slow to learn, but in my defense I have heard that it gets harder to learn the older you get. . .You can't teach this old dog new tricks.

On Saturday, my sisters and I took my beloved Mama to see Neil Sedaka in concert for her Mother's Day present. Oh my goodness, what a wonderful time we had, I haven't laughed that much in a long time. Despite his 73 years, his voice sounded awesome and he danced around the stage, so light on his feet. I was impressed. He sang several  songs about time gone by and how much he wants to turn back the clock and do it all over again. Not because he would do it differently, just to enjoy those moments again.

I struggle with this. .. having Eli has made me so much more aware of how quickly time passes. It seems like I will go to bed one night and wake up for Eli's graduation. ..that is how fast it seems to go. I already wish I could slow time down.

Time is such a funny thing. I remember summers lasting forever. Climbing trees, playing whiffle ball in the yard, playing until I could not possibly play any more. .. seriously endless afternoons. It seemed like time was a friend. As I age and after discovering Reece's Rainbow I have a love-hate relationship with time.

Justina

It's about DA^$ time that Justina found a family. She is so sweet and cuddly looking!! I pray that time FLIES so that her family reaches her so very quickly!

London

Time has been ticking away for this young boy. Why is time slipping away so quickly for him?? He is 5 years old already.  Five years spent waiting for the love of a Mama. Oh, time. . .don't let another day go by without him being totally loved and fawned over! He is just a little boy. 

EMMITT!

Boy, Born January 26, 1998  

 Emmitt is a sweet boy.  He is living in one of the mental institutions, and has been for many years, yet he remains sweet, intelligent, and kind.  Ttwo of our adopting families met him while they were there, and are pleading for a family to save him.     From his medical records:  myelomeningocele  (spina bifida)   From one of our adoptive families:  " Emmitt has a severe deformity of his legs.  He cannot walk at all.  He is very friendly, funny, and talkative. He desperately seeks out attention.  He was talking to my husband, and holding Zack's hand, which he then put on top of his head for Zack to rub his hair.  He is extremely intelligent, and just precious!  I brought him paper and crayons, and he drew me a flower  "

OH Emmitt! Such bright eyes! Fourteen years in a crib...14 years! Can you imagine such a life? He cannot walk. There are worse fates. He can still learn, love, understand. .. . Does he understand his situation? He sees other children find families. I wonder what relationship Emmitt has with time. I wonder if he will look back and want to do it all over again. . ..

Time marches on. Indifferent to all. ..  .it just keeps marching. .. . .

Tough Love and Fear

Man, I needed a gold star, a pat on the back, a "job well done" last night. Sigh. Who knew that when the phrase "Tough Love" was created they were talking about how tough it was on the parents. My two year old got to me last night. I made a threat. One not thought out. Call the authorities!! 

What a day. I am done making excuses. "He's tired." "He is not feeling well." "It's a new experience." "He's only two." Well I am done. Starting last night. I stuck to my guns last night and I refuse to let that be for nothing. 

I sent my 2.5 year old to bed last night at 6 pm. His normal bedtime is at 8. He did not get his bath. He did not get to read a book. He loves his routine and I deprived him of it.  I was really worried that meant hell night for me. . . .what with his pox and all. But I stuck with it. Consequences for both of us. He refused to stop throwing couscous on the floor. I made an idle threat. Shame shame. (Have any of you tried to clean up couscous from a floor? Those sticky little balls are my nemesis.)

I was shocked by how difficult this was for me. I thought that I would sail through this phase of parenting because I am totally good at being the bad guy. I am persistent and determined. . ..boy was I wrong! Being a parent makes me retrospective and totally apologetic to my parents. I never realized that when they punished me, they were making their lives harder in the process. So eye opening!

I stayed up far too late worrying about how badly the night was going to suck and what God awful hour Eli was going to wake up at. Really constructive and intelligent. I know. Perhaps my husband is correct to question my "genius." On the flip side, I read this. And laughed til I cried. (I have hopes that people share my blogs as much as I share others. .. . I have this crazy idea that my ramblings can help or at least brighten someone's day. If I cannot be useful, I do try to be entertaining.)

I finally went to bed. I dreamed that I was pregnant. Though my dream didn't last 9 months, it was one of those really long life like and accurately mundane dreams. I was super excited until I delivered a dead baby. 

After all of my strong words about fear yesterday.. . .I am still afraid. 

Oh Poops!

Almost 3 years ago, my dear husband and I were in Target, again. I was pregnant with my first child and trying to follow everyone's sage advice, I was stocking up on diapers. My hubby did not get this at all.
Him:"We already have 3 boxes of diapers. We could open our own diaper store." (Okay, for the sake of the story I may ad lib a little because, it was over 3 years ago!)

Me: "Um, you know babies poop, right? Like, alot; 12 or more diapers a day, alot."

Him: "WHAT?" This could be heard in every corner of Target. Not kidding.

Me: "Have you heard anything I have been saying for the past 8 months? You do know we are having a baby, right? You do know babies poop, right? Have you read any of the books I gave you?"

Him: "Um.. ..Uh. ..yea, but I haven't gotten to that part. 12 or more? NO WAY!" Again, far louder than necessary since I was stand right next to him. Literally. He was looking at me as if I had told him Bigfoot was living in our basement.

This exchange caused quite a little giggle fest in the diaper aisle. One Mama walked by and patted my husband on the arm and said, "12 OR MORE!" She walked away laughing. This makes me giggle just remembering.

So, not much later, Eli arrived. What a joy. What a transition and the affirmation from the nameless Mama in Target was right on the money. Often more than 12 diapers were used a day. Hubby could still not believe the amount of poop such a tiny person could produce. As much as I tried in the early days to fight it, I could not. His nickname stuck: Mr. Poop. He graduated to Prof. Poop in daycare and his loving caregivers could not believe his production as well. (He is amazing in other ways too, but this has just been incredible.) So he is Mr. Poops, Poops, Stinky Butt Boy and Poopsy.

So, Mr. Poopsy has the Pox. (Hey, this sounds like an awesome kid's book! Perhaps that should be my next project.) Most people have been sympathetic and supportive with remedies and such. . . .but some. Well, some have not. Some near and dear people felt the need to tell me all the awful things that chicken pox could bring. Blindness. Hospitalization. Infections. Ugh. We have all had the chicken pox, well everyone except my hubby, but that is another story. And we all survived. Without going blind. Without hospitalization. Without cause for worry. Yes, it was no fun, but we survived. We didn't sprout feathers. We might have scarred, but we did not perish. We simply itched and moaned and got over it. It seems some people actively choose to live in fear, and search it out.

Have pox, will weed whack.

So, to prove those fears wrong:

You can still smile with the pox.

and do yard work.

Life is such an adventure. Fear is normal, but dwelling on fear clouds judgement and hides the joy. Why would anyone want to hide from joy? There is too much joy to dwell on fear. And too much yard work.

The Happy Dance

I had two cookies and a Pepsi for lunch today. I just thought someone might be interested to hear that. It really does boggle the mind that I have not lost those pesky extra pounds. .. . strange, right?















In other breaking news: He. DID. It! For the first time in almost 4 years, my dear Husband closed the shower curtain after his shower. You have no idea how amazing this is!

No, this is not my bathroom, but I wish!

For the past 3 years I have offered him daily reminders to close the shower curtain. Yup, offered these reminders, kind of me, right? (This allows the water to drain properly and reduce the development of mildew on the curtain, though I am sure you all know that already, or perhaps you are now discovering just how obnoxiously anal persnickety I am. I will own this and give you all permission to feel sorry for my husband at any point. I won't feel slighted. Nothing can bring me down today!) 

I abhor cleaning the bathroom, especially the tub, so anything that keeps that area cleaner, I am all for... To the extent that I have calmly recited the following line each and every time I walk into the bathroom to a curtain wet and bunched up at one end of the tub. . . .. "You know dear, that if you close the shower curtain, it stays mildew free for much longer." Over and over and over and over. I continued to calmly repeat this even when dear hubby lost his temper because Eli was not listening to him. Don't read into that. My husband is a fabulous father, the two's can frustrate the best of us. 

I am celebrating this victory. Heck, I might put it on the calendar to commemorate this occasion.

 And, there is a big AND here. 

AND he took removed the cold bag of tea from his mug before putting it on the counter for me to wash. (though this is not the first time this has happened, I am just tickled to see the trend continue!) I am beside myself. 

Is this a sign of things to come? Is he staring to recognize my zany brand of genius? Dare I dream? eh, either way, I am doing my happy dance. 

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails. ..

I feel a little bit of pressure to be witty in these posts now, I honestly don't know why... . but it is hard to be funny when I am facing a day  of dabbing calamine lotion on pocks that look far too big for my little boy to have on his lovely skin. I am sure my humor will return in a week or so. . .maybe sooner if my dreams will cooperate with me. (Peyton, where are you?). . until then you are stuck with un-funny Becki.

So, if I read the list right, today's Teamwork Tuesday was to be Justin, but Justin has a family! Oh my goodness! There are so many new faces on the My Family Found Me Page that I really cannot contain myself. This has been a wicked busy two weeks. . .I am just going to list the names of the kiddos that people are committed to bringing home, because it is a FABULOUSLY long list: Erin and Bethany, Harper, Leo, Maxim, Dalton, Gavin, Sarah, Dottie, Joey, Harlowe, Justin, Lizzy, Nadine, Masha, Charlie, Taylor, Tamara, Jack, Yana, Ashleigh, Isabelle, Meredith, Cindy, Alyssa, Aleksa, Juliette and Ruth. Some of these precious babies have been on this blog, on my mind and in my prayers. And ALL OF THEM HAVE FAMILIES. How amazing is that?? Not that I am counting but the statistics are this 20:8. Only 8 boys. Why is this?? I LOVE boys. Their energy, mischievous and messy. So precious to me. I am posting three boys that SHOULD not still be waiting. With the way children are being claimed, if you see a child that you want to make your own. . ..you best get a move on as more and more people are jumping on board!! God is totally working miracles every day!

There are some amazing little guys just waiting for a family...like Beau. Why is this kid still waiting? There is an awesome video http://lubertsy.opekainfo.ru/valera_video.php that showcases his beauty and his skill at styling hair. I could definitely use his help!! Someone had the end of the video translated and he is supposedly reciting a poem, with a lisp. HOW DARLING! I just cannot stand it. My boy has a lisp and I secretly hope he holds onto it for a while.

Here is Beau, he should be a familiar face to those that read this blog.

Beau 15H

ong6-15
Boy, born November 2004
Eyes of Gray
Blond hair
The nature of communicative
Diagnosis:  Cerebral Palsy

Beau does not make an impression of a child who lives in an orphanage from his birth. Beau is very well developed, already knows how to read by syllables and is able to spell, write and count. The child loves to learn more and will be a promising student in a future.  He is kind and friendly with the children and polite with the adults. He can be left alone in a room and will play with puzzles and mosaics for hours. He also likes to draw and is interested in technologies. He is a very accurate boy and likes cleanliness and order. He goes to the bathroom by himself and never forgets to brush his teeth and comb the hair. Beau walks without help but has spastic paraparetic gait.

$208.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Emilio

Boy, Born July 2008

Look at this handsome little one!   Also of Roma heritage, Emilio was born with osteogenesis imperfecta.  He is healthy and able to walk though!!!  Typically developing cognitively.

From his medical records:  Congenital brittle bones (osteogenesis imperfecta)

$1375.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Donations are tax deductible.

Mark 31C

8mq2-31

Boy, born October 2009

Little Mark has Down syndrome and was born with some heart issues (Atrial Septal Defects, no impairment of circulation), but surgery hasn’t been found necessary yet.

Full medical history available.

Mark is usually in good mood. He plays with toys variously, jabbers. He is active.

$3200.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

I will stick with these three precious boys today. Let their faces imprint. .. .their lives are depending on you!

Like the Chicken pox. ...

I no longer want faith the size of a mustard seed. Nope. Sometimes faith is too difficult if I am forced into inaction.  I am a do-er. Not a talker. Don't get me wrong, I can talk, and I do. Sometimes too much. But I much prefer rolling up my sleeves, digging in and getting dirty for causes that I am passionate about. I pray all the time but it never feels enough.I know this is probably wrong. That I should somehow be more comfortable sitting back and trusting that God will take care of these children, but if I am to be the hands of God in the world. .. .then let me already! Let me be the arms. . .. .please?
Right now that means I am sick and tired of praying and I just want to be hugging and holding and nurturing babies right now. That's right, babies plural. I hope that I am able to join a humanitarian trip this summer.. . I hope. I often have to fight the urge to hop on a plane. . . .convinced that one of these children is calling my name. My name.

have you seen this girl? isn't she so pretty? I want to see her with longer hair and a smile on her face!

Alina A. 


Being a parent to my current child takes precedence. Two days ago this child popped up with another rash. Another rash?? This one looked uncomfortable. It looked a bit like chicken pox. I got nervous, then shook myself as he has a history of crazy skin rashes and reactions. We had just been on vacation, and just changed laundry detergents. So, I took a deep breath and decided to just watch it. Watch it spread and spread and look even more like the chicken pox. The chicken pox? Where would he have picked up the chicken pox? AND WHY? After vacation, he has decided that he is no longer potty trained and no longer has to follow all the rules that we had already battled over. Sigh. Now chicken pox?
I resigned myself to what seemed to be inevitable, and prayed the lamest prayer to date "please not his face, dear Jesus. . ."

This morning I was greeted with a smile. A smile stuck in the middle of a pocky face. NO! Poor kiddo. (side rant.) I have been a major  pain in the butt of my Doctor, refusing any immunization that I did not understand. One of these immunizations was for chicken pox. In fact, I think I mocked the Doc. An immunization for chicken pox? Why? So that parents are never saddled with a sick child. So that school years aren't interrupted? How far will we go to make our lives hassle free?? This is ridiculous. NO I do not want to vaccinate my son for chicken pox. Um, sigh. I get it, but I am sure that I will grow and learn through this illness, once I stop blaming myself for this. . ..so I am shutting my pie-hole now. I never refuse extra cuddle time, I prefer cuddling a healthy child, but will cuddle away nonetheless.

Back to praying: I have been fervently praying for the children listed on Reece's Rainbow. I know, perhaps some of you are now rolling your eyes. Oh well. I know I cannot please everyone, and really have never tried to. No reason to start now, right? (I am so tangential today, sorry folks, I do have a point.) So in addition to praying I have been wracking my brain for other ways that I could help. I donate and advocate but nothing feels as important as personally claiming one of more of these children for myself. It seems that is the only thing that will satisfy me. (I am SO high maintenance!)
Many of you know I have started the ball rolling to establish an Adoption Mission to benefit RR at my parish. I am putting the finishing touches on that and it is exciting. I also recently started a wee facebook group for people in my area to meet and communicate and encourage each other. AND IT IS WORKING!!! People are getting familiar on that page already. I am so in-like with the people I have met on the RR Pages. They are so inspirational, open and funny.

I have always had faith. But it has been tested and has taken a beating recently. Despite this, my faith is growing. It started small. Looking at all the children waiting for families, knowing there are millions that aren't even listed, it is hard to have hope. It is easy to get discouraged. Avoidance is common.  As more people are discovering these children and advocating, more and more children are being adopted. Love, faith and hope are spreading. .. .and I pray it is contagious. Like an epidemic and spread like the chicken pox.

And as for me? I still don't want faith like that of a mustard seed. I want my faith to be like the chicken pox. I want it painted all over my face. I want it to be out of my control. . ..I want it to take over. Completely.

Fatherless Friday: Fatherless For 15 years

This is my first Fatherless Friday Post. I am super excited that I am on schedule. . .. yay me! I will get the hang of this someday! There is hope for me yet!

Over seven years ago I traveled to Kenya to spend 3 months working at an HIV Orphanage. I fell head over heels in love with 96 children. I was completely blown away by my capacity to love and by the love I received in return. I still love these children with everything that I have, but I am going to write about one extremely special boy in my life. His name is Lazarus and he is larger than life. He changed my life. For the better.

He has lived at Nyumbani (the orphanage in Kenya) all his life. Despite his diagnosis and his situation, nothing keeps him down. He is unstoppable, unflappable and so faithful to God. He is quite possibly the most inspirational person I have every met. I struggled for 7 years to make him my son. This was not meant to be. I mourn this every day. I know he is well cared for and happy. . .. it is my own selfishness that I hold on to the desire to make him mine. Adoption from Kenya is nearly impossible. (I have lots of bitterness and anger to vent. . .so I will leave it at that.) I am not sure if they are currently open to foreign adoptions at this juncture. I am still a little too bitter to check into this. . .moving on.

On Sunday April 29th Lazarus was welcomed into his community as a MAN! My little boy is a man. It is a massive coming of age rite in Kenya that starts with circumcision and ends 2 weeks later with a large celebration. Such a big deal!! I couldn't be prouder of him. A slip of paper saying that I am his legal Mom would not change the amount of love and pride I have for this child.

He is pictured cutting the cake with the other Men. . .he is the little guy in front. Oh, my heart just swells for him. 15 years old. Wow!

For 15 years, Lazarus has grown up without a Father of his own, and yet he has grown and has become a man. I know that given the chance, I would jump at the opportunity to bring him home. Fifteen is  not too old for him to acclimate to a family. Not too old for him to blossom and grow and excel. Not to old for me to squeeze and cuddle him every day. NOT TOO OLD!

There are a number of boys listed on Reece's Rainbow that have also spent 15 years without a Father. I am pretty sure they have not had the benefit of an AWESOME orphanage like Lazarus has. Nevertheless, look at these boys. They are precious indeed and waiting ever so patiently for their family. Don't make them wait any longer!! Fifteen years is plenty long to wait! Fifteen is not too old for them to be smothered with love, cuddled and nurtured.

Emmitt

Boy, Born January 26, 1998  

 Emmitt is a sweet boy.  He is living in one of the mental institutions, and has been for many years, yet he remains sweet, intelligent, and kind.  Two of our adopting families met him while they were there, and are pleading for a family to save him.     From his medical records:  myelomeningocele  (spina bifida)   From one of our adoptive families:  " Emmitt has a severe deformity of his legs.  He cannot walk at all.  He is very friendly, funny, and talkative. He desperately seeks out attention.  He was talking to my husband, and holding Zack's hand, which he then put on top of his head for Zack to rub his hair.  He is extremely intelligent, and just precious!  I brought him paper and crayons, and he drew me a flower  "

We are seeking more official medical information about his condition, but hope someone out there will see this sweet young man and know his kind and loving spirit.

$1678.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

Donations are tax deductible.

Bartholemew 9HA

17eh0-9

Boy, born August 1997

Blue Eyes

Blond hair

The nature of Moody

Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Oh, this poor boy.  His lips look so dry.  Our heart breaks for his look of sadness!  Barth is almost 15.  He needs a family fast!  This region allows unrelated children to be adopted.  Please consider him and maybe another child from this region.

Charlie 9HA

wow6-9

Boy, born June 1998

Brown eyes

Hair dark brown

The nature uncommunicative

Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Charlie is almost 14!  He looks so small.  Yet, he finds a reason to smile.  Charlie would make a great big brother to some lucky little child.  If you have any concerns about older child adoptions, feel free to ask us here at Reece’s Rainbow.  We have many people that could give you the information you are looking for!

Jared 9HA

16682-9

Boy, born October 1996

Diagnosis: Down syndrome

Blue Eyes

Nature of fun, not relaxing – he sounds like a busy guy!
Jared will be 16 in October, He needs a family soon or his chances to find a family will be gone. His description says “Nature of fun, not relaxing.” He sounds like a typical 16 year old!!

Families considering our older, institutionalized children should be home study approved prior to commitment.

If you are not in a place to adopt right now, I understand. Please pray. Pray for these boys. ..